Are You Really Afraid Of Death? Or Just Of Pancakes?

​The other day I took a car ride and the person driving asked me a very interesting question, and the question was about death. It was very interesting for me to hear this question because it's a theme that I don't really think about much. I was always fascinated though with the concept of death and the sense of attachment in life.

​The question that was asked of me on this car ride was what did I think about death, if I fear death, if I have any relationship to death. I have dealt with death directly when my grandparents and grand-uncles died and the closest I have been to death was when I went through divorce and having to let go of being with my children on a daily basis. I was forced to look at the attachment I had created around my children and marriage, something absolutely normal and human.

When everything is secure everything is easily controllable and somehow we feel we can dictate how things are going to turn out. Once I got divorced I was no longer able to know what was happening with my children and was having to deal with the reality and the fact that I had to change my life, and this change was required from within.

This experience created a very strong impression on me regarding attachment and as the Buddhists heard from the teachings of The Buddha, sooner or later (in order for us to work and grow spiritually as individuals) we need to look at this sense of attachment to life and enhance our self-development through a process of detachment from physical/material possessions.

If you think about death from a pragmatic perspective, you can understand that death isn’t really a tangible concept or experience. We have heard stories of people that have gone through coma, and which, sort of, have been in a space where there was somehow a connection to a depth that they were not ever able to understand or get in touch with through their conscious mind.

​When you look at the concept of death you might realise that the only way to know death is to actually die, and that it is almost impossible for someone to die and come back to life and really be able to tell what's on the other side of the fence. Many people say they have gone through it and they have amazing experiences and I really validate those experiences from a non rational perspective. To validate my belief that there is an after life I can go a step further and say that I've got in contact with alive spiritual teachers who have tapped into a conscious state which is beyond life and death.

Without having the experience of death one cannot know what death is but people still fear death, isn’t this true? It is like someone saying they do not like water before even try it, or being afraid to be close to a cliff although you’re safe and deep inside know nothing will happen, or… being afraid of pancakes. I find that fact quite interesting, the thoughts in people’s minds when they fear death. What I've realised is that people don't actually fear death, what they fear is what they either will lose or gain through experiences that lead to death. Lets face it, once you die, you die. What we know from science is that our whole body stops functioning and something happens to our consciousness. Whatever happens prior to death is what we actually need to look at. What I believe people actually fear about death is the fear of being alive when death approaches, the fear of suffering, the fear of not being in control of what is happening with our physical and mental bodies and basically that kind of force that takes over and kills the body and kills everything that the body contains, like you mind, your thoughts, your emotions, physical organs, hormones, glands, bones, flesh, etc.

​What I believe is the only way to deal with death is to be detached not only of the thoughts around death but detached from the fear of the unknown and everything that comes in between. Hence why I speak about Buddhism because they beautifully expanded this theme of detachment and it's one of the basic teachings of The Buddha and Buddhism religion that we hear about nowadays. This detachment allows us to understand that there is lots we can do in a practical way to deal with attachments and these attachments are of physical things (either objects or people.) By practicing detachment we manifest the inner space that allows us to be able to live without the things we are attached to, so that we don't feel that pull, that energetic pull toward the things we are attached to. Usually people speak about a “chakra” call the solar plexus, which creates the connection with possession and where the pull to possess something comes from. Working with these aspects of yourself is one of the ways to not only get into a space of contentment and fulfilment but also a space of relaxation, freedom from anxiety and gratitude. Practice gratitude rather than fear. Ultimately where you place your energy is what creates your reality.

Author

Hi, my name is Wahido Marata and I am a CLC, CCC, Certified Life & Career Coach by the ICF (International Coach Federation) committed to helping entrepreneurs go beyond struggles, limiting belief systems, boost their self-confidence, motivation and self-awareness. My goal is to assist entrepreneurs to create a strong mindset that allows them to exponentially increase their social media presence, create a massive action plan, resources and strategies to grow their business, learn how to generate more leads and sales online, learn how to make a bigger impact in the world with their work and increase revenue, learn how to build a solid rock reputation and how to grow and monetise instagram and other social media platforms. Get my free 30 minutes Accelerator Coaching Session www.wahidomarata.com/free-session.html