7 Mindset Shifts That Bring Happiness

1. NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. THEY’VE GOT THEIR OWN TEARS.

​I can’t expect anyone to listen to my complaints when I know they’ve got issues to deal with too. They have their own “tears” to worry about.  

So many people judge books by their covers and take a look at someone’s status, wealth, good looks, friends, and just assume that they’re happy.


My friends, happiness is the ROI, not paper.

So… how do I live?

I made my bed and my situation is mine — the best way to fix stuff is not to cry about it to a someone who has their own issues to deal with.

2. REPROGRAM YOUR POSITIVITY / NEGATIVITY SCALE

​I know so many people who have it “made” and complain daily, and others that have it so hard that are always happy.

If there’s anyway you can challenge yourself in 2019 to start looking at the world with a more glass half full mentality, way more “yes” and way less “no”, so much can happen.

​Brandon Warnke, my best friend since age 14, is the best executive at Wine Library because of his mindset. He didn’t have an easy childhood. He deals with all the biggest issues at the shop and he does it with a smile. People underneath him cry with far less pressure.

Along those same lines, I see executives at VaynerMedia who handle pressure champs and those who “cry wolf” at things that are one-eighth as important. Please for your own happiness, make 2019 a reprogramming of the positivity / negativity scale.

3. WORK FOR THE LOVE OF THE GAME

​People love entrepreneurship and owning a business when it leads to fame and fortune. The issue is, we have lived through so many years of prosperity and many youngsters get into the game for those things.

I really hope you’re “here” for the love of the game because that’s who will be able to navigate the waters when the economy melts. More importantly, loving this journey is the quickest path to happiness.

So whether you’re an entrepreneur who makes $2.7 million / year or one that makes $27,000 / year… whether you’re one that works 37 hours a week or one that works 98… whether you’re a teacher, lawyer, truck driver, eBay flipper, executive… make sure you’re doing what you love.

4. 99.9% OF PEOPLE THAT JUDGE YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE

​Once you truly understand this, two amazing things start to happen:

It allows you to really take all insults and judgements with a grain of salt. They don’t know you, they only know a small % of you. Even the 10 people closest to you don’t know everything about you. They don’t know everything that’s going on in your mind or heart. They don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors.

So please, when someone spits hate or criticism remember: They honestly don’t know you and it’s often times a much bigger reflection on them than you.

You stop judging others and thinking you know everything about them. Always remember, you’re only seeing a small piece of that person’s life. You don’t have full context.

5. YOU’RE NOT LOST OR CONFUSED. YOU HAVEN’T EVEN STARTED.

​This applies to people under 40.

You’re not lost or confused, you haven’t even started. Take a deep breath, and remember that happiness is what you’re chasing. Not fundraising, not money, not awards or accolades.

In fact, what most of you are doing is allowing your insecurities to dictate your angst because you’re so passionate to “show” your parents or friends that you’re successful.

Want to prove something? Prove that you are enjoying the process of figuring yourself out and chasing your current ambitions and curiosities.

6. FALL IN LOVE WITH “NO”

​I love “no.” It’s my biggest advantage.

Most people don’t understand that purebred entrepreneurs grew up getting unlimited “no’s” and they fall in love with it.

So many people are so insecure that they put the “no” on themselves. I put the “no” on the other person or the circumstances. I don’t dwell on my “no.” I don’t internalize my “no.” I turn it into a mix of motivation, empathy, and acceptance, and I spit it back out!

7. IF THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD IS NEGATIVE, SOMEONE MANIPULATED IT

​I’m tired of people thinking that “their voice in their head” is the one telling them they “can’t” or that they’re not good enough.

So much of life is about self-esteem vs insecurities.

That inner voice that spits negativity back at you isn’t talking to you, it’s someone who manipulated your mind at a young age and created the division within yourself.

I’m here passionately trying to reverse that voice. Kill that fake voice and find yours.

I love you, now go love yourself.

Author

Gary Vaynerchuk builds businesses: Fresh out of college, Gary grew his family wine business from a $3M to $60M in sales. Now, he runs VaynerX, a modern day communications holding company which owns VaynerMedia–one of the world’s fastest growing full service creative agencies and premiere women’s publisher PureWow. Along the way, Gary became a prolific angel investor and venture capitalist, investing in companies including Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Uber, and Birchbox before co-founding VaynerRSE, a $25M investment fund. Gary is currently the subject of #DailyVee, an online documentary series about his life as a CEO. He also hosts #AskGaryVee, a business Q&A series where Gary answers questions about social media, entrepreneurship, startups, and more based on a lifetime of building successful, multi-million dollar businesses.